Ho Hum . . . I am single and nearly 32 and I think my entire life is falling apart.
1) I have ceased to fold laundry and have resorted to washing it dumping it in my spare room and just wandering in there for clothing selections.
2) I do not open mail anymore but just put it in a pile on my dining room table and stare at it like it should go away on its own.
3) Due to mail on the table I no longer eat there . . . not to mention that my peace lily is rebelling against my travel schedule and is beginning to look completely sick and instead of stare it while I eat I have decided to ignore it. Yes I am giving the silent treatment to a plant! I know it is pathetic.
4) Speaking of eating . . . when I buy milk I usually buy one pint size skim milk and it often goes bad before I can use it all! Honestly, most of my friends buy multiple GALLON size milk cartons weekly!
5) Dishes do not get put away either - I have decided that the left half of my sink is a perfectly good holding spot for the few items that a single person needs to cook with . . . that is if I even bother to cook. What is wrong with just eating raw broccoli off the stalk?
6) I have entirely forgotten how to brush my hair, blow dry it too, in fact I am not sure I even look in the mirror. Why bother - my computer screen at work doesn't mind.
7) Friday and Saturday evenings only have plans when I am traveling . . . traveling for work that is. I have absolutely no friends that are not dating someone or married. My weekend plans are so pathetic that if I am traveling for work I am wishing I was home . . . and then when I am actually home I think the distraction of work is exactly what I need to forget about how pathetic I am.
8) Fashion Amnesia is becoming a chronic disease. I often stare into my closet and think that there is nothing I could possibly wear - and then I remember that I have nearly no sense of fashion anyway (that part of your brain is deprogrammed in engineering school). The only thing I really like to wear are my yoga pants (TALL size - God Bless JCrew) which are faded and probably about 5 years old.
So here comes another weekend of absolutely no plans besides sitting home by myself. I hate being by myself - I am a middle child and never liked being alone. So call me if you are bored! I can assure you that I will be doing absolutely nothing important.
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7 comments:
Oh Sarah.. take a huge hug from far away. I miss you! I can't wait to see you in 2 weeks :)
Hang in there dear. We are praying for you. On Tuesday let's look at our calendars and find some Fridays and Saturdays to get together!
I hear you, girl. I have resorted to just grilling all my food to reduce the amount of dish washing. And eating on paper plates may destroy the environment but at least I can just throw it away with the empty PBR can and doritos bag. I don't think cleaning a bathroom is worth it either. It's just going to get dirty AGAIN. wait... I think we are turning into BACHELORS! yikes... ;-) I enjoyed your post and I feel your pain. Prayin for ya.
I was just kidding about some of that post. At least about the PBR. I only drink imports... ;-) Love you!
Now THAT is the spirit, Linnea. Only the finest beer, that's what I always say (over a bottle of Michelob Light).
So look, men or not, there's no reason why we ladies can't get together more often. I vote for Linnea's place in winter. I'll bring the Doritos.
And Linnea, if you could please get your crack problem under control by then, that would be great. I read your comment on the Vileation Nation and just about fell off (is that the right Tiffany saying?).
Sarah, you really do have a gift for writing...aside from the fact that I know you were trying to get a serious point across, you have a great wit and voice. You are one multi-talented woman, Miss Avo-Asp.
Yes Amy, I suppose being a bachellorette can be quite funny at times. Glad it can make you laugh.
As for the quote to which Amy refers, it's from the southern vernacular for all of you to use for fun or "fer serious" when you are shocked or surprised about something. Instead of "I almost fell out of my chair!" Try "I bout fell out". You'll like it!
I hope you both come see me in the winter. Wonderful plan. I will need to do some researching and find a fun time for you to come, and we might even have a sail accompanied by my crack man. No, he's no plumber...
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